Well, it's close to three weeks since I got back. Most of the time has been spent on finishing up this trip diary. Those of you that saw it while I was on the road can see that it has taken a more complex and user-friendly form, which certainly accounts for the amount of time spent.
It's still difficult to look back on the trip with more than mixed emotions. In the end it was about a week too long. I knew it wasn't going to be a vacation. Which to me is a chance to relax and get away for an extended period of time. It was an adventure that was meant to be lived mile by mile and not in the pictures and words that I leave here.
My first week back was marked most unusually by the vivid dreams I had that I was still in Idaho dealing with the weather. Perhaps my mind was finally catching up to processing all of the events because I would wake up thinking that I was hunkered down somewhere and I needed to cover up my motorcycle and plan for the weather. That continued for more than a few nights in a row and it took a lot of self-persuasion to convince myself that I had made it and was indeed in my own apartment. I normally don't remember dreams so waking up and not knowing where I was is rather unnerving.
I finally got samples of my freelance job and they look pretty darn good. Always some minor details that I would like to fix but it wouldn't have been any different had I been here. Though I think had I been here the communication would have resolved my anxiety but that's about it. It was the not knowing creating issues and not actual problems.
In the end it's hard to remember the jubilation I was feeling on the road at different points. I know that I was, especially in Glacier, but scenery at 70mph is hard to visualize. I'll get certain flashbacks now and again but I continue to believe that I saw much more than I was able to process in such a short time. It wasn't until a day or two ago that I actually sat down and realized that it was a day shorter than I had thought and to be able to match up the calendar to the places. Though I think that might by caused more by my unwillingness to really plan ahead and there really wasn't a time that I needed to know what day it was, other than the self-register sites.
Things I had packed but didn't use: cutting board, aluminum foil, firecrackers, peanut butter, two books, hatchet, stories on mp3, toilet paper, and some other minor things like the fork, spoon and some other minor utensils.
Things I could have used: better camp pad, my better rain suit and boot gators, sidecar and dog, taller windscreen, emergency fuel bottle, heated hand grips, binoculars, pants with the longer inseam, BMW R1100 GS
Things I could have gotten by without: 35mm camera & film, computer & related stuff, camp chair, AAA maps, big flashlight, running shoes, 1 qt. water,
Things indispensable: long underwear, winter hat, electric vest, Rand McNally maps, credit card, money in small bills, can opener on the Leatherman, bike shorts with the gel pad, Sensenheimer ear phones & Discman, Platypus water bottle,
Though after it all I do miss the rhythm of the miles and days. The continual motion was great to keep my mind relatively clear. I also think that there is something in it all about being able to rely on yourself, when no one is around, but also the importance of human interaction. Though it also made it quite clear as to what my limitations are and what I need to improve on.
Though it still makes me wonder in some ways about humans as a whole. Mostly what we really need to survive versus what we have compared with most other people in the world. But on the other hand I can comprehend more and more that we all have our limits. Someone else's line in the sand might be different than mine and I can see through my own why they are important. So maybe it isn't where we are at now so much as how we got here and how we continue, that the choices we make have far greater consequences than we could ever imagine. That in the end I am really no different than anyone else, and we are all more fragile than we care to admit.